(A sister post to my most recent.)
I’ll be honest, sometimes I wonder if I’m part of the problem. (Side note – if you want to test your own level of self-assuredness, type that sentence sometime and see how it feels.) If there is a devil on my shoulder, then I blame him (of course it would be a “him”) for my eagerness to leap into the verbal fray.
But there is an angel on my shoulder too. A Jekyll to my Hyde. A Cher to my Sonny. And every now and then she gets my attention. And, of course, it would be a “she.”
I’m in a constant hop-scotch between the two. On the one hand, hey, knowledge is power. Study, analyze, research. Pack the brain until it feels mighty damn important. Be an informed voter. Read the paper. Read the encyclopedia. Read Trivial Pursuit cards. . . for fun.
On the other hand, sometimes I wonder if I really need to know any of that crap. Perhaps I should trade in a few cable news anchors for 13 indigenous grandmothers. Information overload eventually and inevitably sends me running to the woods to commune with the oaks and listen to the scuffle of squirrels in the leaves and the caw of the raven. For a few days I avoid the Comcast home page headlines and start my day with sacred moon incense. I pause to acknowledge the wisdom of the west, the north, the east, the south and shake the flame to embers with a silent appeal for the health of our planet.
It’s an age-old war that is not at all unique to me, I know: that war of wills between the aggressive mind and the passive heart, the assertive brain and the silent soul. My mind uses fear. It tells me I’ll fall behind, that something really important will happen, that I must stay informed with the world’s comings and goings. It tells me that if I’m not careful, I’ll become like my sister, Donna (“We have a black President??”).
My spirit uses . . . well, nothing. It just sits patiently and accepts me home every time I return.
My brain is like an academic playground. Politics are the video game I’m addicted to. And when I get really still and centered, I realize just how insignificant it all is. There really are more important forces at work in the universe.
I don’t want to be part of the problem. I want to be part of the solution. And I have a feeling the solution will come from the heart.
Guess I’ll have to think about that for awhile.