Tag: pagan

Conversion Blues

~ Deb ~ 1 Comment

In the almost 40+ years I’ve been deconstructing my inherited faith and discovering a lived and meaningful spirituality, I’ve known a shit-ton of people.  Each of those people brought a unique perspective from a unique place on a unique path. One of my core beliefs is that all paths lead up the mountain. I deeply value the insight others bring, and I only ask the same respect in return for my own path.  

Overwhelmingly, the people I’ve met along the way have been those who, much like me, walked away from a rigid, one-pointed belief where they were taught to accept a particular ideology completely and put all others into a pile labeled “evil.”  Not “unimportant,” or “useless,” or even “rejected.”  “Evil.”  The evangelicalism of my youth taught me that if I was not 100% pro-Jesus as they understood him, then I was worse than neutral; I was on Satan’s payroll and guided by demons.  

It takes a lot to shake that.  So those of us who do and then find each other are often immensely grateful to have encountered kindred spirits.  And because the deconstruction has included an opening of the heart and mind to the beauty in so many spiritual paths, this group is usually quite diverse.  While often eschewing specific labels, most of my spiritual tribe tends to be those who take inspiration and comfort in Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, Paganism, Sikhism, Wicca, and whatever other path one might add to the mix.     

But here’s where it gets weird.  A couple of times, rarely and randomly, someone will come into my circle, usually a younger person, who displays great open-mindedness and a natural bent toward the esoteric and mystical.  About the time I’m thinking, “oh, how wonderful it would be to have been that free so young,” they post something to social media announcing their conversion to Christianity.  And then it builds. They post more and more. Eventually, they share pictures of the mega-church they now belong to.  Instead of the latest Tik-Tok dance, they’re now posting Bible verses.  

Now that, in and of itself, is wonderful.  All paths lead up the mountain, and if this is their path, then I’m so happy they’ve found it. The rub comes, though, when they’ve bought in so completely that their posts begin condemning all other paths.  New Christian converts seem to pass into the “I’ve got to save everyone from hell” phase quite quickly. 

They’ve moved from joy to condemnation without skipping a beat, which makes an awkward dance-move.  

In full disclosure, I’ve seen this happen twice in 40+ years, so we’re not talking about a tsunami here.  I often find that people who open their minds rarely close them again.  And for fear I am misunderstood, let me emphasize that the closing of the mind is not in converting to Christianity; it’s in the off-putting and judgmental sense of spiritual superiority that sometimes accompanies it. 

I’m curious about their path.  I wonder if this will stick or a more expansive appreciation will return for them.  I wonder what the twists and turns will do to them in the dark nights of the soul they are undoubtedly yet to experience — not because they’re Christian but because they’re babies.  I wonder if they will ever again have a moment of darkness in which they see light coming from a Rumi poem or a Buddhist idea or a new moon.  I wonder if they’ll leave room for the mystic Yeshua, the Jesus of the Gnostics.  

So many places they will go.  So many miles down the path that is theirs to trod.  

I don’t judge their path.  I wish them well on it.  I wish them eyes that see and ears that hear.  I wish them peace and freedom.  I wish them an experience of the Sacred that renders them speechless and transformed.  I wish them enlightenment, nirvana, moksha, even if they only ever call it sanctification.  

Mostly, I pray they will see the Jesus they love as a champion for compassion rather than a measuring stick for judgment.  

But, Then Again . . .

~ Deb ~ 4 Comments

(A sister post to my most recent.)

I’ll be honest, sometimes I wonder if I’m part of the problem.  (Side note – if you want to test your own level of self-assuredness, type that sentence sometime and see how it feels.)  If there is a devil on my shoulder, then I blame him (of course it would be a “him”) for my eagerness to leap into the verbal fray.

But there is an angel on my shoulder too.  A Jekyll to my Hyde.  A Cher to my Sonny.  And every now and then she gets my attention.  And, of course, it would be a “she.”

I’m in a constant hop-scotch between the two.  On the one hand, hey, knowledge is power.  Study, analyze, research.  Pack the brain until it feels mighty damn important.  Be an informed voter.  Read the paper.  Read the encyclopedia.  Read Trivial Pursuit cards. . . for fun.

On the other hand, sometimes I wonder if I really need to know any of that crap.  Perhaps I should trade in a few cable news anchors for 13 indigenous grandmothers.   Information overload eventually and inevitably sends me running to the woods to commune with the oaks and listen to the scuffle of squirrels in the leaves and the caw of the raven.  For a few days I avoid the Comcast home page headlines and start my day with sacred moon incense.  I pause to acknowledge the wisdom of the west, the north, the east, the south and shake the flame to embers with a silent appeal for the health of our planet.

It’s an age-old war that is not at all unique to me, I know: that war of wills between the aggressive mind and the passive heart, the assertive brain and the silent soul.  My mind uses fear.  It tells me I’ll fall behind, that something really important will happen, that I must stay informed with the world’s comings and goings.  It tells me that if I’m not careful, I’ll become like my sister, Donna (“We have a black President??”).

My spirit uses . . . well, nothing.  It just sits patiently and accepts me home every time I return.

My brain is like an academic playground.  Politics are the video game I’m addicted to.  And when I get really still and centered, I realize just how insignificant it all is.  There really are more important forces at work in the universe.

I don’t want to be part of the problem.  I want to be part of the solution.  And I have a feeling the solution will come from the heart.

Guess I’ll have to think about that for awhile.

Dirt-Worshipping Tree-Hugger

~ Deb ~ 2 Comments

Every day, priests minutely examine the Dharma

And endlessly change complicated sutras.

Before doing that, though, they should learn how to read the love letters

     sent by the wind and the rain, the snow and the moon.

                                                               — Ikkyu

You may freely replace priests with ministers, rabbis, imams, gurus, or televangelists.

You may freely replace Dharma with Bible, Torah, Koran, or Bhagavad Gita.

You may freely replace sutras with commandments, verses, visions, prophesies, judgements or any other claim to know the mind and will of the universe.

Or you may just replace all the words ever known with those love letters from nature and be at peace.

Just Throwing Another Yule Log on the Fire

~ Deb ~ 1 Comment

I feel like Nostradamus.  As if on cue after my most recent blog “Happy Yule” (below) a Merry Christmas e-mail debate broke out among the faculty of the college where I teach.   This yuletide uproar began with the benign announcement of the annual “Holiday Luncheon.”  The first e-mail response was offered with a scowl and a growl.  (Hint:  If you are scowling when you write an e-mail, astute readers will know this.)  The writer was offended that he couldn’t go to a “Christmas” luncheon and opened the door for his opposition by adding, “What other holiday would we be celebrating?  Fourth of July?  Memorial Day?  Martin Luther King Day?”

I’m proud to say that several faculty members returned fire by a) reminding him of what other holidays we could be celebrating, and b) offering reasons why their choices for December observances were every bit as valid as his.

I was discussing this at work tonight in the company of another faculty member and, as chance would have it, the chief of security.  I had just offered my own response to the online debate and was anxious to show it to my colleague.

“Oh, so you’re getting into the Great Holiday Luncheon Debate of 2008,”  Chief said.  And then he added, “You know, this whole thing started because they had to use the word ‘holiday’ since we’re a state school.”

“No, Chief,” I replied.  “This whole thing started when someone who believes he should own the holiday season decided to raise a stink about someone trying to be sensitive and inclusive.”

My friend, Priscilla, (props to Priscilla) offered a wonderful argument that I think I shall adapt for my own, with her permission.  I hope I don’t misrepresent her position, but the way I got it was this:  When the Christians agree to give back every “Christmas” symbol stolen from other traditions, then I’ll agree to give them December 25th.  Lock, stock, and barrel.  (Actually, to be technical, they would also have to give back December 25th since that was stolen from other traditions as well, but I shant quibble in that regard.)

ATTENTION ALL JESUS-FOLLOWERS:  When someone says “Happy Holidays” to you, they aren’t trying to offend you, ignore you, or even de-Christianize you.  What they are trying to do is NOT offend or ignore or inadvertantly Christianize you if you happen to not be a Christian.  When you respond defensively to Happy Holidays, you are, in essence, offended by the fact that other people aren’t getting offended.  How very WWJD of you.

Just be sweet.  Spread love and joy.  If you’ll leave your religious superiority out of the holiday season, I won’t point out that pagan mistletoe you have hanging above your door.