Seven Seconds of Stunned Silence

~ Deb ~ 1 Comment

It’s a timeless moment,

a sharp intake of knowing, a breath of awareness.

The final word comes, either heard or read,

and with it the resolution of a thought

which resonates at a tone too deep for humans to hear –                                             

maybe heard only by sperm whales –

but which we can feel, and which we know rings

a truth truer than the truth known before.

 

My eyes linger at the white space

on the page after the final period –

Or I sit in the quiet after Garrison’s voice

falls away into broadcast silence. 

I stay in that silence.

I stay for a timeless moment,

seven seconds of stunned silence,

in that place where poetry lives.  

Moore on the Buddha

~ Deb ~ Leave a comment

So, my friend Blanche got me one of those Page-A-Day calendars with zen sayings.  It’s becoming a holiday tradition, actually, since she got me one last year too.   It’s kind of like my spiritual Red Bull.  Every morning I sit down at my desk and rip off yesterday to find the wisdom of today.   This morning’s saying, however,  was more like caffeine-free Diet-Rite.

From the end of the nose

Of the Buddha on the moor

Hang icicles.

— Issa

Okay, does anybody else read that and have to fight the desire to respond, “And the dog barks at midnight”?

So I sat here and glared at that all day long.  It was in my peripheral vision as I worked and periodically I stopped and looked at it like it was a child tugging on my sleeve and begging for my attention.  “WHAT do you WANT?”

And, you know, the more I looked at it, the more it started to make sense.  I’m still not sure how it made sense or why, but it just did.  Maybe that’s the essence of zen.

Possible interpretations of today’s zen-on-a-rope:

The Buddha meditates in any environment, even a cold one that will make icicles on his nose.

The Buddha is not immune to nature, even in meditation.

The Buddha has a cold, but will not blow his nose during meditation and thus has icicles, or snot-cicles as it may be.

Perhaps I was subconsciously drawn to the saying throughout the day because it contained the origin of my name – moor.   My family name is of Scottish descent and comes from the moors, or rocky cliffs, on the shores of Scotland.   In fact, that word stuck out to me because it seemed so non-Buddha and far more Maxwell McCormack to me.

And the word drew me back and drew me back, again and again.   It drew me back to the same spot over and over until I saw that there are icicles on the Buddha because the Buddha is still.  And I hadn’t been in so long.  And I needed it desperately.

There is another saying from the above-mentioned calendar:  “Life without zazen is like winding your clock without setting it.  It runs perfectly well, but it doesn’t tell time.” (Shunryu Suzuki)  Zazen is the place of stillness sought in meditation.

Shhhhhhh. . .

Reclaiming The Brain

~ Deb ~ Leave a comment

I am not a profundity snob.  Truth can just as likely be found on a bumper sticker or a billboard as it can in the words of a yogi master.   And sometimes it can be spoken by a half-drunk, Irish actor.

At last night’s Golden Globe Awards, Colin Farrell gave an acceptance speech which included these words: “Curiosity is love.  Ignorance is nemesis.”    And my entire life suddenly made a certain kind of sense.

I have a need to know . . . everything.  If I read a novel in which a minor character is a bricklayer, I want to know how bricks are laid.  If I hear a friend talk about a trip to Austria, I will ask her questions about the land and people and customs and food and architecture.   If I watch a t.v. show on the birds of South America, I am likely to get on the Internet and research the lovable caique, a relatively small and brightly colored member of the parrot family.

My spiritual journey has centered around two big lessons.  One is that I must move from my head to my heart.  I am (news flash) a head person.  I can analyze everything, even emotions, which of course should be felt.   I am on a continuing journey to move the center of my attention about 18 inches south.   Because of this spiritual lesson, I have often condemned my great need to know.  After all, isn’t all “knowledge” kind of like a huge trivia game we use to pass the time in this incarnation?

The second big lesson of my spiritual journey is to be in the moment.  Being present means being aware, and being aware . . . wow . . . could mean caring about Austria when it comes up in conversation.   Being aware could mean having an understanding about what it means to be a bricklayer rather than just skimming over the word.   Being aware could be what made me Google caique.

Curiosity is love.  Ignorance is nemesis.

Thank you, Colin.

Big Bang Theory (or Where We Begin)

~ Deb ~ 1 Comment
I saw a picture of a friend as a toddler that was dated three years

Prior to my birth.  My mind said,

(not sure why, but it often talks to me)

“This was before you were even a twinkle in your father’s eye.”

 

Phrases I have heard all my life often seem forever

Saddled with the meaning I gave them using a child’s mind.

 

For 44 years I believed,

Without even really thinking about it,

that the “twinkle in my father’s eye” was the

Pure unadulterated joy he felt knowing that

I, his precious daughter, would someday

Come into being to

Enrich and fulfill his life.

 

It just dawned on me today that it is likely referring to

The flirtatious glance that is the true moment of conception.

 

There was a time when we were all nothing more than

The lustful leer of a woodie-wearing boy who thought his

Asp was an anaconda.

 

Our first raspy wail was caused by that slap on the ass

Which followed the pointy-headed journey through a very tight place

After the squeezing and squeezing

And living upside down

Spawned by nine months of cell reproduction

starting from a blastocyst created by that lucky sperm

Who won the gold in the freestyle

Of the biological Olympics and

Pierced the membrane of a single egg . . .

 

. . . Because a penis ejaculated in a vagina after

Kissing and hugging and rolling and spooning and

All because of a twinkle in the eye of some dude who thought

His roll of dimes just might get to pretend it was a worth a whole lot more

And play a little game of cha-ching.

 

And that, if you want to get downright technical, is the moment of conception.

 

So the right-wingers and Catholics and pro-lifers who believe that

Life must be allowed to blossom from the tiniest potential

To a full-fledged being

should insist that their daughters follow through,

Stay out late after the dance,

And create the potential found in the twinkle

Of a school-boy’s eye.