About six months ago, I had the conscious thought that I wanted my life to be more focused on teaching and writing. Just a couple of days ago, I received confirmation that I would indeed have a full-time teaching position this fall at my dear old alma mater, Tennessee State University. If you knew how unlikely that result seemed six months ago, you would think I must be a freaking wizard. (I am, but that’s beside the point.)
So, how did being lost in working-for-a-living evolve so quickly into immersed-in-a-passion? Read closely, and I’ll tell you the secret.
(Sidebar — Speaking of The Secret, the book/movie/”phenomenon” that you are either well aware of or haven’t heard of due to the thickness of that rock you’ve been living under, my experience has some similarities, yet I retain the insistence that mine is also unique. I essentially agree with the core message of The Secret, but feel that it is A) too often focused on material gain – the yang to the yin of living spiritually, and B) too closely resembling one-size-fits-all in regards to tapping into unseen energy. But, this really isn’t about THAT secret; let’s get back to mine.)
STEP 1: Figure out what you want. (Warning: This step may take years, or even lifetimes.)
STEP 2: Think about what you want. Spend time focusing on it. Read books about it. Immerse yourself in it. Speak about it to the full moon. Google it, for god’s sake. In essence, put the energy of that thing you want all around you. (Warning: This step may take months or even years but should move along a little bit faster than Step 1.)
STEP 3: Tell somebody what you want. (Warning: Step cautiously here. This can’t be just anybody. Avoid naysayers, dream-killers, unwanted-advice-givers, analysis-queens, and your mother. I told Susie, who only ever says, “If that’s what you want, I’ll hold that vision with you.”)
STEP 4: Watch for it to happen. (Warning: Don’t forget to celebrate the small steps that are propelling you to your desires and which are sometimes easy to overlook.)
DISCLAIMER 1: This does not always work. Sometimes what we want isn’t right for us. Sometimes we only think we know what we want. Sometimes we want something because we think it’s what we should want. Sometimes we don’t get what we want because instead we get something better (see: serendipity). This is why Step 1 can take years or lifetimes. Socrates said, “Know thyself,” and great thinkers have been harping on this same theme for the 2,300 years since. It is impossible to know what you want until you know you. So get really, REALLY comfortable with Step 1; you just might be there awhile.
DISCLAIMER 2: All of the above falls into the this-is-what-worked-for-Deb category in your brain. You should now focus on the this-is-what-works-for-me category. Perhaps you will find that discovering/thinking about/speaking/manifesting what you want involves incense or candles or a favorite pair of old shoes or dancing around an oak tree under a new moon or burnt offerings or nature walks or driving in the left lane. Any, all, or none of these are perfectly acceptable. This-is-what-works-for-me is completely dependent upon the information in Disclaimer 1 regarding self-knowledge.
DISCLAIMER 3: I have discovered that “wanting” a new BMW, a very large house, enough money to impress friends with my largesse, or world-wide fame are not only not really what I want (the big “I”, the capital “I”, the “I” that really knows “I”); they are also crass and miniscule, the subatomic particles in the great banquet of universal goodness.
So, best of luck on your journey. I have realized that my mission on this planet in this lifetime is to teach and write, and knowing that made doors start flying open. I can’t wait to hear what yours is.
One thought on “How to Get What You Want”
Now I know why I haven’t been “here” before….. A time and a place for everything, right? Today/now/here, 6am at my (for years estranged) dad’s house with my children, knowing that I’m moments away from being a single parent…knowing that everything I have been through, good and bad, has brought me to this place and positioned me in such a way that I have no choice but to kick the ass of every class and work nights (and painfully continue this run-on sentence/outloud thought:)) after putting my babies to bed.
This is what I am supposed to do. I’ve NEVER been more certain of anything. Reading this, knowing that I’ve taken these steps over the last 14 years, put a smile in my heart!
I appreciate you and your gift of positivity, guidance, and support. I’m so glad our paths crossed…..you rock, Oh wise one! Ha!
Disclaimer 1: Its like almost 6am, I typed this on my phone with (through gritted teeth) auto-correct, I’m in the dark, and I’m deliriously sleepy. I take NO responsibility for grammatical/typographical errors. 🙂