(On the occasion of the 2020 Vice-Presidential Debate between Kamala Harris and Mike Pence) I don’t hate you. My father was one of you. He, with his tense jaw and strong grasp meant for affection but delivered in pain. He whose presence commanded attention when he spoke. Though I had six more years of education, two degrees more, I listened patiently when he explained the themes of Thoreau’s writing. Me, expressionless, when he persisted in pronouncing it THOR-ee-o. Me, silent, waiting until my next class to unload the corrections on unsuspecting sophomores. He, who threw the blinker light of his motorcycle against the back wall of the garage in rage when it broke from the bike he had instructed me to hold while he retrieved his forgotten wallet. Me, 10 years small, not quite made to kickstand a Kawasaki. Me, watching in terror as the center of gravity shifted away from my spindly arms. Me, watching it fall, the bike and his anger, with a rush of hot wind. Me, wanting to say, “you’re the Einstein who thought 65 pounds could hold 400 at center,” but I would never dare. Wouldn’t even admit I was thinking it for at least two decades. He, whose anger was quick and sharp, but his raised backhand never landed, only threatened. That was enough. He, the one who told first-grade me to tell those sixth-grade boys that my daddy was as big as King Kong and they better leave me alone, but he could have just been on time to pick me up instead. And you, who look so much like him, wearing your assistant managership like a crown, interrupting me when I’m speaking, as if I was never speaking. You, who have never moved through your world afraid, always afraid. You, claiming you see women as equal because you have no comprehension of the depth of your ignorance. You, holding a toothpick and lecturing a druidic priestess on forestry. You, the one not forced to smile, the writer of rules not the follower, the interrupter and talkoverer and ignorer of anything not you. I don’t hate you. To hate you, I would have to start with him, and I love him. Like a beaten dog still needing to eat, I love him. I don’t have to love you (thank god), but I am able to not hate you. Because of him. In spite of yourselves. You and him. © 2020 Deborah E. Moore, All Rights Reserved
Tag: feminism
Midcentury Mise-en-Scene
Chairs posed in motion.
Crouching couch.
Triangular coffee table
aimed like an arrow
toward the flat brick face
of the fireplace.
Fire.
Bar cart,
gold and glass.
Console television.
Console stereo,
hi-fi.
Floor-to-ceiling
pole lamp.
Shag rug.
Green.
Orange.
Half inch shirt cuff,
white.
Quarter inch pocket square,
white.
Grey suit.
Thin black tie.
Black Oxfords,
polished.
Clean shaven,
sideburns.
Thick black glasses.
Legs crossed
at the knee.
One arm on the
Back of the couch.
Other hand, a cigarette.
Soft bouffant.
Pearls, three strands,
at the neck.
Orange sherbet
silk dress.
Bow front waist.
Orange stiletto pumps,
one toe-tipped
behind the other.
Head tilted
coquettishly.
Mixing scotch
and soda
she won’t drink.
Smile like
an accessory.
© 2020 Deb Moore, All Rights Reserved